Dangerous Relationship? There’s an app for that

“This app is designed to inform you of your risk of being killed by an abusive partner or ex-partner.”

Up front disclaimer: I do not in any way support or condone violence against any person. People who are in a dangerous, violent or abusive situation should seek or be provided help wherever possible.

I’m dismayed that we live in a world that says that THIS is how one should determine if they are at risk in their relationship. Even more disturbing is the tone of the thing: having tested it several ways now, even with the safest answers I get the same result:

“Yours (sic) answers indicate that you may not be in immediate danger of lethal violence from your boyfriend (partner) or ex BUT the level of danger can change quickly…”

So, even though I’m safe now, no matter what’s going on in my relationship, I should be scared. Great.

Also disturbing is the clear gender bias. While purportedly about relationship violence, it is really only about violence by men against women, as any combination of answers other than “i am a woman and my partner is a man” leads to “sorry, we can’t help you”.

As I said above, people who need help should be able to get it. But I don’t think they should be encouraged to use something as frivolous as a phone app to assess their relationships, especially not one that, no matter what, says “you’re in danger”.

Any support should be available to anyone regardless of gender, and the information should be based in fact, not misandry or misanthropy. Relationship violence and abuse is not about men and woman, it is about a person and another person. By reducing it to gender, objectification and stereotypes are perpetuated, and the individual ceases to be the focus of the help.

Update 2020: The app originally reported on is no longer available, but a new one is (still for women only).

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